Sex in your 60s Episode 3: Men & Women Are Different

The beaches of Los Cabos are famous for their contrasts: blazing sunsets melting into the cool shimmer of the Pacific, desert cliffs plunging into calm blue coves, the fiery sun giving way to the soft moonlight over San José del Cabo. It’s a landscape of polarity, where opposites not only coexist but create something breathtaking together. That same truth applies to our sexual relationships. 

Men and women are not the same, and they never have been.

But instead of treating those differences as annoying obstacles, I am learning in my sixties to celebrate differences as complementary forces that fuel desire and deepen connection. I am amused by my partner’s maleness and have learned to enjoy it rather than be offended by it or, god forbid, try to change him in any way. Anyhow, he is a Taurus, stubborn as a bull. Just leave it there Robyn. You will never change a Taurus’s mind about anything. We are preparing to host a series of in-person seminars on sex and aging in Los Cabos. So let’s add working together to this fireball and see what explosions we create.

“Women are sixteen times more intuitive than men”

says my fiancé and teaching partner Himat Dayvault. “At the same time, men are wired for stability and projection. When those qualities meet, they don’t cancel each other out — they complete the circle.” This perspective comes from the tradition of Kundalini yoga, which we both teach. We met at a yoga event last June in New Mexico.

Kundalini yoga teaches that for women, sex is rarely just about the physical act. It begins long before that, with safety, trust, and emotional intimacy. A woman must feel protected, cared for, and understood before her body even begins to think about desire.

Men, on the other hand, often experience arousal as more immediate and physical, yet their fulfillment runs deeper when emotional connection is present. Himat says: “If men understood how profoundly women are imprinted by the experience of sex they would realize intimacy is about much more than the moment. It’s about the energy that lingers long afterward.

That imprint is not just poetic language — it’s a biological reality. Sexual intercourse has a stronger psychological and even spiritual impact on women than it does on men. Women carry the memory of intimacy in ways that shape their emotional and energetic state. This is why commitment, trust, and purity of intention matter. In Kundalini yoga, practitioners believe that a woman can transmit her energy and consciousness to her partner during sex, leaving an imprint that he unconsciously absorbs. When the connection is strong, the man seeks that energy again and again, because it nurtures him on every level.

Yogic philosophy

has long described the male and female dynamic in elemental terms: Man as the Sun, stable and fiery; woman as the Moon, fluid and ever-changing. The fire of the man must heat the water of the woman for her to fully awaken sexually. This is not just a lovely metaphor, but a reminder that desire works differently in men and women. Most women’s bodies don’t respond as quickly as men’s, but once aroused, women often sustain passion longer, with the capacity for extended orgasm and deeper fulfillment.

Himat explains it this way: “The polarity of masculine and feminine is not a flaw in design. It’s the magic of it. When a man understands his role as the Sun — the steady source of warmth — and the woman understands her role as the Moon — the reflection and amplifier of that energy — intimacy becomes a dance of balance. That dance can be even richer in your sixties, because you’ve had a lifetime to understand yourself and your partner.”

Science

adds another layer to this picture. Researchers know that women’s sexuality is more closely tied to emotional states, while men’s is often linked to visual or physical cues. But neuroscience also shows that men and women stimulate each other hormonally in ways we’re only beginning to map. In yogic terms, it is the woman’s projection — from her pituitary gland, the master gland of the endocrine system — that sparks a man’s pituitary to release hormones and trigger sexual arousal. This invisible loop of energy exchange reinforces the idea that sex is not just about bodies, but about entire systems interacting: emotional, physical, and hormonal.

This is why slowing down, listening, and allowing space for connection matters so much in later life. Couples in Los Cabos who attend retreats or workshops often talk about rediscovering each other against the backdrop of the ocean and desert sky. Being in Cabo San Lucas or San José del Cabo reminds people of polarity.  The contrast of desert and sea is just like the contrast of man and woman. And when you’re surrounded by that beauty, it’s easier to surrender to the idea that differences are not problems — they’re the very things that make intimacy exciting.

At this point, you might be wondering: Where does yoga fit into all of this? Isn’t yoga a spiritual or religious practice? Let me be very clear that yoga is not a religion. It is a science, a 5,000+-year-old laboratory of human experimentation. Yogis were the original biohackers, testing ways to expand energy, vitality, and consciousness long before those words were fashionable. They practiced fasting to reset the body, meditated to rewire the brain, and used herbs like turmeric and curcumin to reduce inflammation — techniques modern science is only now beginning to validate.

Biohacking today

is all about optimizing your performance and extending your vitality.That’s exactly what yogis were doing millennia ago. They were measuring their own biology — how breath affected energy, how herbs shifted moods and reduced pain or inflammation, how meditation could change your physiology. And they didn’t stop at physical health. They applied those same techniques to sexuality, to make intimacy more fulfilling, conscious, and sustainable.

In our upcoming in-person seminars we plan to not only talk about things like stem cells and other procedures but to show how yogic science can support sexual vitality in the sixties and beyond.This includes breathing practices to build and sustain life-force energy, exercises to strengthen the nervous system, and meditations to clear the residue of past relationships so couples can meet each other in the present. The idea is not to abandon desire, but to refine it.

For couples who may feel the fire has dimmed, this can be a revelation. Instead of pushing against the natural changes of aging, yogic science encourages embracing them as part of the cycle of energy. In Los Cabos, where so many couples come to renew vows or celebrate anniversaries, this perspective is particularly resonant. Sun sets and the moon rising- all of it mirrors the eternal dance of masculine and feminine, fire and water, sun and moon.

When we accept that men and women are not supposed to be the same, but to complement each other, intimacy becomes less of a struggle and more of a celebration. In your sixties, that’s the real key — not trying to erase differences, but honoring them as the source of passion.

For more information on the upcoming in-person seminars feel free to contact me at robynlittlewood@yahoo.com or Whatsapp me +526242119435. Also see me and Himat on my instagram reverseagingcabo and Facebook: robynlittlewood

First in person seminar will be November 23, 2025 location to be announced.